Life is too Busy to be Disorganized

You want to know a secret? My life is a mess, everyone's is. Any body who says their life is exactly what they want and problem free is lying to you. To be honest, I just want my life to run more smoothly. Not perfect, just manageable. That is the underlying reason behind this blog and brand. The biggest lesson I have learned in my life so far is that life is busy, and it is too busy to spend it disorganized. I wanted to create and share ways that help me organize my life and learn about how other people stay organized.

My life right now is a whirlpool of emotions. I am graduating from college in five weeks. That's right, FIVE. I knew is was soon, but, oh my gosh. What am I going to do next? This week my Grandpa was diagnosed with stage four cancer and He doesn't want to fight it out. He wants to live whatever time he has left surrounded by family and at home. He was discharged from the hospital Wednesday and I don't know how to feel. I am stressed with work, school, and now a sick family member. All while having to make some of the biggest decisions of my life. Where do I want to live? What job do I want? Do I get a roommate? Do I need to be closer to my family? Where do I need to be to meet the man of my dreams? They might all sound like stupid questions, or maybe they don't sound stupid at all. All I know is that I have never felt more confused in my life, and I just want to establish some sort of structure.

That being said if I were to take a picture of my room, my office desk, or the inside of my car you would be able to see my life is anything but organized. Instead it would seem like my life is falling apart, and at times it is. Getting everything done for classes, graduation, academic conferences, work, leadership positions, resumes, my professional portfolio, and all the little other things life throws me, seems impossible and unbelievably daunting. The stress alone makes silence terrifying. All I seem to do when a room is quiet is fret and worry. Today however, I have decided that if I am going to get through the next couple months, weeks, or maybe even days is if I have a solid game plan. That does not mean a rigid game plan. One of the things I struggle with most is planning things to the nines only to be defeated if life doesn't run as smoothly as I want it to.

Some examples of the kind of mess that can be found in my life.

So here it is, it's not decorative or elegant but to quote Pheobe, from the sitcom Friends, it is chaotic and twirly, just like my life. First, I need to clean my spaces. I have got to have a clean room, office, and car. I to be in places where I can think and feel safe, and right now I don't have those. I spend all day on campus, from the hours of 8:00 AM and Midnight I avoid my apartment. Only to come home and feel just as lost. No where feels like home. Secondly, I need to make a list of what needs to be done for school, and the dates they need to be done by. I can not put off these assignments to the last minute. If anything, I need to be ahead of the game not just caught up. Last of all, I have got to have a fall back plan if I do not have a job in five weeks. Hopefully I do, and I need to continue to get my resume and portfolio done and out ASAP, but I need to be prepared for what will happen things don't go according to plan.

As you can see it's not a fool proof plan, there is no rigidity in place. It is a list of goals and priorities that I need to get done, but it allows for flexibility. I can't expect my life to follow my perfect plan, even if I were to have one, because life is not perfect, and to be real, it is unrealistic to think I can make it otherwise.